Yellow is the new pink
by S. K. Steven
Summary: Vday oneshot. Maybe there'll be a sequel...i dont know. Follows Plum Lovin'...sort of...


_At one o'clock, Diesel's cell phone rang. By the time I as awake and oriented, Diesel was in the middle of a conversation with the caller. _

"_Don't lose him." Diesel said. "Double team him if you have to and call me if he moves. _We'll be there in twenty."

_I was half sitting, propped on one elbow. "What was that?" I asked when Diesel put his cell phone back on the night table._

"_Lou Delvina just rolled out. Walked down drive way and scratched himself all the way from the house to his car. Flash said he got a good look at him and Delvina is covered with Hives." _

"_Bernie!"_

"_Yeah looks like it. Don't know how they're connected, but it can't be friendly if Delvina is scratching."_

"_You wanna be in on this"?_

"_Yes. No."_

"_I'm warm and comfy." _I whined, but somehow curiosity always wins out.

"_I could make you warmer."_

"_Jeez," I said. "You never give up."_

"_It's one of my better qualities."_

I sat up with the covers held close amd he handed me the coffee he was dinking . _I narrowed my eyes_ _at him. "Stop smiling at me with those damn dimples."_ I was feeling cranky. "_Give me a minute."_

"_Forty seconds would be better." _Oh wow, We've wasted twenty whole second talking! Hmm…guess the sarcastic piece of my brain is the first part that wakes up.

_I picked some clothes off the floor and ran into the bathroom with them. I was dressed and out in record time with a hairbrush in my hand. I grabbed a ball cap off the dresser and rammed my feet into boots. Diesel stuffed me into my jacket and handed me a new mug of coffee, and we were out the apartment, down the hall to the elevator. _

"_Bob!" I said. "What about Bob?"_

"I shut him in the bathroom with food and water. It's just for a little bit. _He'll be fine."_

We hopped in Diesel's 'vette and we were on our way down Route 1 toward Pennsylvania.

"_How do you know where you're going?" I asked him._

"_I can feel Flash in front of me. There are a couple people I connect to, and Flash is one of them. I can't always connect, but its strong today. Probably because he's excited to be on the chase."_

"_Can you connect to me?"_

"_Sometimes."_

"_So you didn't bug my car?"_

"_No, I didn't bug your car."_

We were headed north toward Yardley, when Diesel pulled to the side of the road.

"_What's up?"_ I turned toward him. "_Lost Flash. It feels like he's behind me." He punched a number in his cell phone. "Lost you." He turned in his seat and looked out the back window. "Yeah, I see the sign." Diesel looked over at me. _"He stopped to get gas."

_Five minutes later, Diesel pulled _up behind a blue Honda Civic. " That's Flash and _two cars ahead of him is a black Lincoln with Jersey plates. I imagine that's our man Delvina."_

_We followed Flash and Delvina for an additional ten minutes, taking a road that hugged the Delaware River. _We saw the Lincoln pull into river side driveway and parked a couple a couple house down. A red headed man with lots of studs in his ears got out of the car in front of us and performed the formal introductions. "Flash, Steph. Steph, Flash."

After waiting for about fifteen minutes, Diesel declared it was _time to go to work. _

"Delvina and his driver were the only one's in the Lincoln. _The driver looks like old muscle." _Flash said.

There were no foot prints or tire tracks in the snow and the walk hadn't been shoveled. Clearly no one was living there this time of year.

"No one's in the cedar house," I said. "We can sneak along the tree line and scope things out." We walked around the edges of the trees until we could see _Delvina's house peeking through the vegetation._

We tried to stay hidden in the brush and shrubbery, while scouting the never-ending house. It was large with two stories and sparsely scattered windows. Most likely bathrooms.

"_We need to see inside the house. We need a head count."_ Diesel whispered.

"Hang tight, this a job for the flash." And he took off disappearing around the other side of the house.

"_Is speed his Unmentionable thing_?" I was curious.

"_So far as I know he's not Unmentionable, He just runs fast."_

One minute, three minutes, five minutes passed and I was starting to get antsy.

"_Chill," Diesel said. "He's okay."_

_A couple of minutes later Flash came sprinting across the yard, back to us_

"Delvina and his driver have Annie chained in what I think is a powder room and Bernie is chained in the Kitchen. They all have some majorly sick lookin' hives. Delvina and his man are rubbing on some kind f white cream."

Diesel wished out loud. "I _need a diversion_."

"I guess that would be me," I said.

He handed me the 'vette keys. " Do a damsel in distress routine. If you can draw them to the front of the house, we can go in the back."

I took the 'vette, _pulled around the Lincoln, and right turned hard into the drive. I deliberately put the car into a_ _skid_ _side ways into the topiary column and through to the middle of the yard_. I punched at the white balloon exploding into my chest and climbed out of the slightly smashed in 'vette. I hopped out with a practiced dazed expression on my face and wobbled toward the house. The door opened and Delvina's driver popped his head out. "_What the hell was that?"_

"_I don't know what happened," I said. "All of a sudden the car went into a skid and I h-h-hit the hedge."_

"_Sonovabitch. You know ho hard it is to grow a hedge that size?!" Delvina yelled._

"_I'm really sorry," I said. "I must have hit some ice on the road."_I apologizd, but Delvina just kept on blabbing. I was fighting the urge to go all narrow eyed and pissy. This was one of my best performances and no one even noticed! I mean I actually shed a tear! _"Oh jeez look at this," He said. "One of these plants is all broken. There's gonna be a big hole here until this grows back." _

_The driver joined Delvina." Maybe you can do a transplant or something," He said. "Yu know one of them grafts."_

With all their yelling, neither of them had noticed the guys run inside or back to the side of the house. Delvina had calmed down with the driver's idea and he was going to turn back toward the house. Shit! "_Hey! What about my car?_"

"_You got a cell phone! Call your club."_

They ran past quickly. _"You're_ _right. I guess the car's okay. Sorry about your hedge_._"_

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I pulled over to the shoulder and waited 'til the civic came into view_. Diesel got out and jogged toward me. _

"Are Bert and Annie okay?"

He pulled some leaves from the wipers. "Yes. How about this car?"

"_The right side tire is making grinding noises." _He bent down an pulled a massive branch out from under the wheel well. _"That should hep. Hop over the console, I'm driving"._

We were at my front door ten minutes later. Annie was scratchin, and Bernie was itching, and then Flash was scraping his back n my door jamb. I made a face. "You're gonna need some cortisone and distance from Bernie."

"Oh shit, I'm really sorry. I'm not doing it on purpose! I infected everyone on accident, even myself," He whaled.

"Speaking of purpose," Annie turned toward me. "How are my clients doing? Are they happily in love."

"All but Albert Kloughn."

"Oh dear! Today is deadline," She exclaimed!

"I've got a plan and V-day is just beginning." It was only four thirty a.m. by my watch.

Diesel turned back to the incredible scratching Bernie. "We can get you back with your wife and some cortisone real quick and easy, but Annie gets left alone. Understood?"

"Yes, yes please!"

It was eleven a.m. and I was starving. I ran Annie back to the TPD and got her rebounded. We stopped to get Bernie some chocolates and flowers to take as a peace offering with his wife. Only thing was, he didn't have any money and we got stuck footing the bill.

We dropped Annie back at her house and watched Bernie head toward his own gate.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I called Val. "I'm getting married."

Val squealed. "Oh my God! So sudden! To who?"

"Diesel."

"Diesel? Are you sure you wanna marry **him**?" She sounded like she was crinkling her nose.

"Yes, do me a favor and be at mom's in an hour. And…don't tell mom. It's gonna be a surprise." She breathed a small intake. "Mother will not be happy."

"Oh I'm sure mom will be ecstatic to get her daughter married off." Haha, sneaky me. Did I forget to mention which daughter?

I hung up and fund Diesel cocking an eyebrow t me. "We're getting married?" men can be so slow. "No, Val and Albert are getting married. I already called the reverend and everything. That was just to get them to show up without raising suspicion." He frowned. "Too bad. I woulda made a great husband." I patted his knee in comfort. "Sure, someday you'll make some bimbo a perfect partner. Come on, I need cake."

We stopped and picked up a cake that said "Happy Birthday Stanley" and two hours later my mother was seving us a slice and the last of the coffee, for the reception.

"That was a nice thing you did for your sister," Diesel said.

"How's Albert?"

"_Deliriously happy_. Thanks for helping me out cutie pie, but I gotta make my get away". He paused for a moment, "_I'm being reassigned."_

"_So soon?"_

"_Yeah, but I'll be back. You owe me a conjugal night."_

"_I do not owe you a…" _I was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

Grandma answered and there was a flower delivery guy there with bunches of flowers.

I took three boxes off her hands. _One held a single perfect long stemmed rose with no card_, the second held a dozen pink roses with a card that said "Love Joe", and a the third was a bouquet of daisies. The hand scrawled note read "Valentines Day sucks…usually."

I couldn't believe that Diesel remembered my favorite color was yellow. _I felt someone brush a kiss across the nape of my neck_ and I turned to thank him, but all that was there was the cake plate sitting on the foyer table.

I narrowed my eyes stupid men. Stupid flowers. I picked up my left overs and stalked out to my…'vette? He left the 'vette? There was a card in the wind shield. **Try not to destroy it. **

I'm not sure why but this made me even more angry. Doesn't he know that I was already having trouble choosing between Ranger and Morelli. Now all I can think about is how neither of **them **remembered yellow was my favorite color.

I seethed all the way home. That is…until I got up to my apartment. There was about a million flower arrangements and chocolates sitting at my front door. I looked at the cards.

"Bomber. Steph. Stevie. Querrida. 3Stephanie's. Pumpkin."

I smiled. Tank, Bobby, Lester, Hector, Junior, Hal, Cal, and probably daddy. I opened the door and shoved everthing inside.

I was thinking maybe valentines day wasn't so bad, maybe…

Then I saw the white rose and picture sitting on my pillow. It was a picture of me smiling in my sleep. "Fair as a rose. Better in bed. We'll soon be together. Eternally dead."

Oh great! Not another one…


End file.
